Learning How To Be An Effective Dater – Why Is This Stigmatized For Men?

Posted by Ron on

One thing many single many are interested in learning about is how they can be more effective and charming when it comes to dating women. A first glance this seems like a rather worthy cause, and one that should be encouraged. However, if you dig deeper into this topic you will soon see that there is a definite stigma associated with men learning dating skills.

This stigma is perculiar, particularly when you realize that there is an enormous industry out there that is dedicated to teaching women how to be more effective daters ie. Cosmo magazine and books like “The Rules” that teach women to be extremely emotionally manipulative with the men that they date. Books like this are considered perfectly acceptable reading material for modern day bachelorettes, the sort of thing that they can feel completely fine about reading at a coffee shop or a subway train, while men who read book’s like Vin DiCarlo’s Pandora’s Box System or anything by Jason Capital, might feel like they had ought to keep their choice of reading material to themselves lest someone should judge them as a sneaky pick-up-artist trying to get into the nearest woman’s pants. But is this a fair judgement?

If you are a man reading this, ask yourself this question: Do you find it difficult to approach a girl and ask her out on a date? And if not, then try but yourself in that position for just a moment. It is a bit frustrating now isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be nice to develop the skill-set necessary to get out there and start acting confidently so that you can get those numbers and score those dates?

Getting the first date is a challenge because it is a hit or miss. Some men are okay with facing this challenge head on, because they are secure in their own self-worth, however, sadly these men are a small minority. Most men are very insecure and unwilling to put themselves out there because of their deep-seated fear of rejection.

Sure, there are those who will get lucky by getting a date on their first try, but for many men there will be a long string of nos before someone says yes. So, it only makes sense that these less-than-lucky-in-love men would want to step up their game just a bit.

How does one step up his game? Well, here are a few tips for those men who are just getting on the road to learning about this kind of thing:

1) First off to catch the attention of a woman he finds intriguing a man should probably, do something about his look. He should get rid of his shorts, baggy jeans, and jerseys and go for a more dapper look. There is no denying that women like a man who knows how to not only dress, but also knows how to carry himself. Yes, there are some that may deny that looks count, but in reality this is something that really does matter.

2) Second (because I am on a roll here) If you can’t pull off a beard or mustache, shave it off. Get a haircut or at least style your hair to make it more attractive.

3) And finally, be creative when you ask a woman out on a date. Instead of the cliché movie and dinner, do something that you both truly enjoy and something that gives you a chance to bond and chat.

The dating game is just that a game where everyone is trying to outdo each other. To separate yourself from the pack, be sincere with your motives and be clear on where you want the relationship to go. It is find to educate yourself more on this topic, just realize that there is that stigma out there, as unfair as it may be.